Hey, it’s Keshet.
So Eustace told you guys probably the best part of last night’s ridiculousness. She told me that I could go ahead and tell y’all what happened literally within the same span of ten minutes that goes to show what exactly limits my friend-making abilities.
At this point GeeGee had left, and it was just Kota and Eustace and I, still recoiling from a) being screamed at b) doing the screaming and c) hearing the screaming from across the hall. As we all caught our breath we finally started laughing over how silly it all had been.
“Next time you’re definitely going to scream AT Jkay guy,” said Kota. “He’s around this area so often it’s inevitable. He could be outside right now.” The windows were actually open at this point, with the curtains pulled directly inbetween them. The way the apartment is set up has a large glass window overlooking the street between our apartments and the ones from our sister college, so we can see people walking to and from class in the creepiest possible way.
“Oh god don’t say that!” Eustace protested. She glanced toward the windows and her eyes widened. “That can’t be him right now.”
“Nope, just some other guy,” Kota reassured her. But by the time I had looked in the same direction, all I could see was a pair of legs and a butt disappearing behind the part of the window where the curtain was.
“Hold up, isn’t that a girl?” I argued, LOUDLY.
And then the person in question appeared on the other side of the curtain, DEFINITELY male-identifying and DEFINITELY whipping toward us to stare me right in the eyes.
I started back.
And he would NOT. LET. UP. SEVERAL SECONDS were passing. I would look at him, then Kota, then Eustace, then back to him, and he was STILL staring me down as he continued to walk by the window slower than anybody I’ve ever seen walk anywhere.
“Uh,” I apologized. And then the only thing I could think to do was to side-dodge under the table. Because NOW he hasn’t seen me anymore.
And you thought you were ajdskfl;aesjihjgl;
THE ORIGINS OF GAY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
I realize that we have not been writing much lately, which sucks. To be honest, the last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful. And sometimes they are filled with failures that we’d rather not talk about because they aren’t actually funny, but rather sad. People suck.
In fact the most exciting thing (before today that is) was that me and kota got super drunk on Saturday that I am no longer ‘vomit free since ‘93’ (reference to himym). However, before I was super wasted, I had enough liquid courage in me to go knock on my neighbor’s door with the intention of borrowing some milk. No, we didn’t need milk, the real intention was jkay guy—he was over at their place, and I was drunk, so naturally asking for milk while he was there (and I was drunk) seemed like a GREAT IDEA! Well, they didn’t answer cos they weren’t in the living room and our knocks were to quiet to reach a closed room. Fail. Rest of the night is kinda iffy for me. Sorry bout that.
here is the good part. So after having been away from each other over the weekend, Keshet, Kota, and I reunited on this fine day. We had dinner, some laughs. Our friend GeeGee was visiting. All good fun.
During dinner, I was looking for jkay guy (yes I’m a creep, i know that, no JUDGING!) and of course, there he was, looking quite good,—might I add—in his beanie, and that black shirt that just fits so well on his fit body and brings out the scruff on his face…. ohp, sorry, back to reality.
Anyway, at the dhall I paraded myself around to see if he would notice me. According to Kota, he did. then as he was leaving, we made long eye contact (twice)! *GASP* meh.
So later, I am recounting this tale to my friend GeeGee, when she realizes she has to go. We don’t know that there is someone at the door because we were in my room and you can’t hear from in there. So I’m walking her and our conversation goes something like:
GeeGee: Well, we’ve established [multiple times] that at least he knows you exist…
Me: yeah, well, he should know that I exist and think to himself, “I WANNA FUCK HER BRAINS OUT!!!”
As I’m saying this, I reach for the door handle to open the door for Genyana to leave, when suddenly….. we see the shape of a person on the other side of the door.
WE SCREAM SO LOUD—LIKE WE SAW A GHOST!!!!
Thoughts are running through my head before my brain actually has time to register who it is. “OMYGAWSH it’s jkay guy! he heard me talking about him! he knows I want to fuck him! why is he at my door? what does he want? DOES HE WANT MILK???!”
Finally when I stop screaming, I realize that it’s actually a very frightened Keshet standing at the door panicking because we are screaming in her face and yelling at each other: “YOU KNOW WHO I THOUGHT THAT WAS RIGHT?! OMYGAWED!”
After everything settled down, I explained to Keshet (and Kota, who heard us screaming from his apartment) what had happened and the context behind our freaking out and screaming.
Then Keshet spoke these terrible words: “you do realize, that the worst part is, if it had actually been Jkay guy, you still would have screamed in his face??!”
And you thought you…. I don’t even know what to say about this actually.
didn’t realize I was logged into this blog D:
IT’S CAUSE WE REBLOG GOOD SHIT.
I ALSO JUST STABBED MYSELF IN THE ARMPIT AND IT HURT REALLY BAD.
I’M BLAMING YOU FOR THIS.
HOW CAN I BE BLAMED FOR THIS?
I AM NOT EVEN WHERE YOU ARE!
AND YES WE DO. WE REBLOG THE BEST SHIT. YOU AND I.
JUST THE TWO OF US.
Today Keshet ran into that girl she made out with at Glitterball in one of the campus bathrooms. Due to a boyish presentation today she wasn’t recognized. Crisis averted.
This is JKay Pony guys-IT LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM!
gay god wants us to calm da fuq down